We’re almost too excited to write this one. Here’s the gist: Ksenya Sobchak, nominally the Russian Paris Hilton but so much more, saves Aeroflot passengers from a ride aboard the Drunk Pilot Express. But, the long story — which includes a lesson in Russia’s “customer is always wrong and will be told as much” service policy, and gives credit to Russians’ incredible drunk-dar — is even better.

So, let’s set the scene. Aeroflot Flight 315 is still on the ground in Moscow. Travelers aboard the New York-bound plane, including Ksenya Sobchak and a Moscow Times reporter (what are the chances?), begin complaining about the unintelligible pre-flight announcement issued by their Captain. (“It took him three attempts to say the words ‘duration of the flight,’” Sobchak said in a radio interview days later.) The outraged are essentially told to shut up or get off the plane by a friendly crew, and rebuffed by Aeroflot’s head office by phone. (Did we mention that their logo is still a winged hammer and sickle?)

But, you know how Russians are (especially Russians headed to New York). The complaints only get louder and the confrontations more in-your-face. That’s when some Aeroflot reps board the plane to talk everyone down. Even if he is drunk, they argue, what’s the worst that could happen? He’ll trip over something in the cockpit?

Passengers described the pilot as red-faced, with bloodshot eyes and a bad case of the wobblies. “I don't think there's anyone in Russia who doesn't know what a drunk person looks like,” one witness told the MT reporter. The pilot’s initial “huh?” reaction to the complaints slowly relented into a promise to sit quietly in the corner and not press any buttons. If this wasn't enough proof, it turned out he’d just celebrated his birthday the day before. But, you know, that could mean anything. He probably just had a glass of kvas and called it a night.

It wasn’t until Sobchak made multiple angry calls to “her people” that all four pilots were replaced. As passengers awaited their new crew, 100 of them signed a statement saying that they believed the pilot to be intoxicated.

Aeroflot’s post factum response? “He probably just had a stroke before the flight,” [That’s cool.] and “Oh, just go read about it on the internet.” Aeroflot officials now say the pilot’s being treated for an unspecified medical condition. Is one of the symptoms PR crisis?

When Aeroflot Passengers Rejected Their Pilot [The Moscow Times]