It’s not often we’re compelled to start a post with the word “Um,” but that about sums it up. Unless you’re web-surfing at a Rush Limbaugh Mardi Gras party, you might think twice before linking to a Julia Gorin comedy routine in public. On her website, Gorin describes herself as “among the most recognized names in conservative comedy”; she’s also author of the book Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing, and Even Suspect Musing, of Billary, and an active op-ed contributor to The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and Jewish World Review. No, Gorin’s not the first to link an Obama administration with both communism and terrorism, though she claims to have coined the term “Communislam.” But hey, we’re not Politico here; we’re telling you all this because she’s originally from the former Soviet Union, and she often works the whole “Russian” bit into her multi-phobic shtick. Thanks for contributing to the stereotype of the racially prejudiced, if not altogether jaw-droppingly clueless Russian, Ms. Gorin. As if we don’t have enough to deal with already.

One month ago we told you about a key piece of evidence in the murder case of Kremlin critic and human rights journalist Anna Politkovskaya: a video presentation allegedly containing footage of Politkovskaya’s assassin. The trouble then was that the video "went missing" and the trial was put on hold while somebody looked around for a copy. According to British newspaper The Guardian, however, the video itself is as baffling as the fact that it had been “misplaced.” For one thing, it shows a confident assassin entering Politkovskaya’s secured apartment building wearing one cap, and exiting in another. And that’s just a taste of the sloppy and bewildering trial proceedings, which famously ended February 19 with the unanimous acquittal of the three men accused of aiding in the assassination. Reportedly, even Politkovskaya’s children felt that given the “fiasco” of the court procedures, a guilty verdict was inconceivable.

The meeting sounds like a screenwriter’s dream: incarcerated ex-oil tycoon Mikhail Khodorkovsky and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, flying across Siberia to the former’s trial in Moscow — on the latter’s presidential plane. Strange as it seems, eyewitnesses who saw the plane before takeoff believe it really happened.

It can’t be called good news, but it’s certainly noteworthy. The Russian court has rejected the sexual harassment charge against imprisoned oil magnate Mikhail Khodorkovsky. The dubious case was filed by Khodorkovsky’s former cellmate, Alexander Kuchma — the same Alexander Kuchma who slashed Khodorkovsky’s face with a knife in 2006. But another of Khodorkovsky’s ex-prisonmates, Denis Yurinsky, rushed to his defense, stating publicly that the allegations were a smear ghostwritten by the authorities. Is this small victory a sign of hope for Khodorkovsky? Not likely.

Yesterday, Mikhail Khodorkovsky – the oil tycoon who has found his empire stripped bare and himself in Siberia after developing a hint of a political ambition in 2003 – returned to Moscow for the first time in years. The occasion was not joyous: there are new charges in the case. Khodorkovsky is now more than halfway into his ludicrous nine-year sentence; are the authorities planning a display of magnanimity or a show trial to keep him locked up into the 2020s? For once, we actually picked up the phone and asked someone: Robert Amsterdam, the world-renowned lawyer who represented Khodorkovsky in the original trial. Here's his take.

Just hours ago, ex-mobile phone mogul and exiled oligarch du jour Yevgeny Chichvarkin made his first public appearance since going AWOL last December. His re-emergence takes the form of a vaguely allegorical, highly effusive LiveJournal post. The somewhat odd story included some characters living in America, and dialogue about “following one's dreams” and “reaching one's potential.” Plus, a music link! (The song’s opening lyrics are: “The fog/the fog…”) With a warrant out for his arrest, we're not sure this is a wise move on Chichvarkin’s part, but it's nice to see him following in the literary footsteps of other famous Russian exiles. Like Trotsky.

Dmitry Medvedev, looking comfortable in a big leather armchair, channeled his best Franklin D. Roosevelt when he spoke to the Russian people Sunday in his first in a planned series of television addresses. The debut talk, a “fireside chat” with no actual fire, focused on the global financial crisis. In the abridged version of the talk available on the Kremlin’s “blog,” it isn’t clear that Medvedev’s looking at an interviewer just off camera. So, despite his call for honesty, for the first two minutes we’re left wondering why he’s avoiding our eye contact. Let’s belatedly "liveblog" the highlights of the Kremlin’s edited highlights of Medvedev’s big talk as they unspool on our laptop.

Over at The New Republic this week, James Kirchick has an intriguing piece on the Kremlin’s public relations campaign in the U.S. In addition to trusty fog machine Russia Today, Moscow's attempts to curry Western favor include placing hilarious inserts in the Washington Post, wining and dining American journalists at annual retreats and, bafflingly, letting the foreign press meet the boorish and decidedly unpresentable Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov. All of this is trumped, however, by the Kremlin’s 2005 hiring of a D.C.-based PR firm, Ketchum, Inc., who take credit for making Putin Time’s 2007 “Person of the Year.” Ultimately, Kirchick is at a loss to explain a) why these PR attempts are so poorly and haphazardly executed and b) why the Kremlin bothers with them at all. Our guess is as good as anyone’s about the second question, but maybe we can get somewhere with the first.

Pro-Kremlin youth group, Nashi (“Ours” or “Our Kind” if translated) has made headlines for everything from suspected fascism to confirmed synchronized breeding. Now, a disgruntled Nashi member admits to infiltrating an opposition group. In a tell-all with the Moscow Times, the disillusioned activist says she coordinated 30 young informers to join and subsequently rat out banned opposition organizations and their members. Yabloko had a feeling those new interns were too good to be true!

It’s official! Bureaucrats are getting unwarranted perks from Vladimir Putin in broad daylight now, economic meltdown be damned. And not mere kickbacks, but pimped-out apartments — financed with taxpayer rubles, of course. All an official needs to be eligible is one year of government service under his belt. To clarify, “official,” can mean anything from a minister in the federal branch to a clerk who just hangs around the office kissing ass and drinking buttermilk. And yes, all of this comes courtesy of the Russian taxpayer.

Muscovites have been puzzling over a series of vaguely Warholian posters appearing in subway stations. The “product” being presented is called Amerikanskoye Salo, which translates to “American Lard.” Judging from the poster, it comes in several exciting varieties, including chocolate-covered lard and lard drizzled with borscht. Frankly, we are a little puzzled, too. Depending on your source, “Salo” could be: a) a political PR stunt involving Ukraine, b) a viral PR campaign for a new book, or c) neither of the above. The only thing we’re pretty sure about is that this stuff is not for eating.

We’re going to put aside sarcasm for a minute and try feigned disbelief. Earlier today, February 4, Moscow’s Military Tribunal was scheduled to proceed with hearings in the murder trail of Anna Politkovskaya, the muckraking journalist, author, human rights activist and Kremlin critic shot dead on October 7, 2006. But a key piece of evidence — nay, the key piece of evidence — is missing. The prosecution has lost (lost!) a video presentation containing footage from the security camera above Politkovskaya’s apartment building. Footage which, apparently, contains a shot of the assassin.

Thousands across Russia braved sub-zero temperatures and took to the streets this weekend. Many did so to protest the government’s irresponsible spending policies in light of the global economic crisis. But most came out to protest the protesters for being, like, so negative and critical. What's with that? As usual, the degree to which the protesters were disorderly and the extent to which police reacted with fists and blunt objects have been exaggerated and diminished with aplomb. RUSSIA! now finds itself in the cozy position of judging whose coverage was best.

The notion of an “information war” in the wake of the actual Russian-Georgian hostilities has gotten a lot of attention in its time. One would be forgiven for thinking that some amazingly complicated PR strategies are being deployed on both sides. In actuality, the “war” mostly consists of both Russia and Georgia trying to impress a who-hit-whom-first narrative on a completely indifferent American public, and doing it in the clumsiest manner possible.

The PR guys over at McDonald’s must be thrilled about this one. Their Golden Arches are the backdrop for the most recent chapter in the messy Russia-Georgia conflict. This chapter is entitled, "Russian soldier goes AWOL, enjoys Big Mac." After abandoning his post in South Ossetia on January 26, Junior Sergeant Alexander Glukhov resurfaced on Georgian television with a plea to President Mikheil Saakashvili for asylum, citing poor living conditions and a verbally abusive commander as his major grievances. Then came a photo op of Glukhov stuffing his face with Big Macs and chocolate sundaes at a Tbilisi McDonald's. Seems like a tough story for Russia to spin. But then, they've been in the game a long time.