The PR guys over at McDonald’s must be thrilled about this one. Their Golden Arches are the backdrop for the most recent chapter in the messy Russia-Georgia conflict. This chapter is entitled, "Russian soldier goes AWOL, enjoys Big Mac." After abandoning his post in South Ossetia on January 26, Junior Sergeant Alexander Glukhov resurfaced on Georgian television with a plea to President Mikheil Saakashvili for asylum, citing poor living conditions and a verbally abusive commander as his major grievances. Then came a photo op of Glukhov stuffing his face with Big Macs and chocolate sundaes at a Tbilisi McDonald's. Seems like a tough story for Russia to spin. But then, they've been in the game a long time.

First, Russian military officials argued that Glukhov had been abducted by Georgians to be used as a tantalizing propaganda weapon. The Kremlin's English-language flack machine, Russia Today, followed this line of logic in their coverage, pointing out Glukhov's “exhausted, confused, and apprehensive” demeanor during his television debut. [Close-up of scraped knuckles.] Though the RT reporters relent just a little, admitting the soldier looks pretty damn pleased about his all-beef patties, they also have Glukhov’s mother and a Defense Ministry spokesman essentially saying, “Oh no he did-n’t” on record. And they have a military expert, expertly predicting: “They won’t kill him; he’s already been on TV.” (You think?) The network ties it all together by likening the incident to other “Georgian provocations against Russians” including a car bombing near a military base in Tskhinvali last October.

Russia’s LiveJournalists are less forgiving. One post — replete with photos of Glukhov navigating his way through the supersized embarrassment — says, in so many words, that the sergeant traded his “Motherland for a hamburger.” Bloggers respond: “In the early ’90s, the whole country sold itself for a hamburger. One sergeant is no big deal.”

But here’s the real nail in the coffin: official Russian news sources with quotes from Russia’s Ministry of Defense debunking the “abduction” theory. They say Glukhov left his post voluntarily and without authorization, for “personal, military, or health reasons.” Well, that clears things up.

Georgian officials refuse to hand Glukhov over to Russia, where he stands accused of defecting. Doesn't seem like a good idea for him to go back at this point, anyway. But the real loss here is that this story centered around McDonald's and not Burger King. "Trade your Motherland for a Whopper" would make the perfect addition to their new ad campaign.

Georgia kidnapped our soldier - Moscow [Russia Today]
"Родину за гамбургер" [Livejournal.ru]
Tensions Flare as Russian Soldier Seeks Asylum in Georgia [New York Times]