| February 3, 8:00 AM Ladies And Gentlemen, This Is Your Captain Drinking |
We’re almost too excited to write this one. Here’s the gist: Ksenya Sobchak, nominally the Russian Paris Hilton but so much more, saves Aeroflot passengers from a ride aboard the Drunk Pilot Express. But, the long story — which includes a lesson in Russia’s “customer is always wrong and will be told as much” service policy, and gives credit to Russians’ incredible drunk-dar — is even better. |
February 3, 4:00 PM Russia's PR Warriors Resort To Throwing Lard |
Muscovites have been puzzling over a series of vaguely Warholian posters appearing in subway stations. The “product” being presented is called Amerikanskoye Salo, which translates to “American Lard.” Judging from the poster, it comes in several exciting varieties, including chocolate-covered lard and lard drizzled with borscht. Frankly, we are a little puzzled, too. Depending on your source, “Salo” could be: a) a political PR stunt involving Ukraine, b) a viral PR campaign for a new book, or c) neither of the above. The only thing we’re pretty sure about is that this stuff is not for eating. |
February 3, 4:00 PM Social Networking Site A Good Place To Meet Freaks, Your Maker |
Here’s fodder for you paranoids out there: Popular online social network Odnoklassniki.ru, a Classmates.com clone that reunites school friends from Russia and the former Soviet Union, recently served as an accomplice in two separate cases of identity fraud and really creepy mass murder. What happened to the good old days, when married people just used Odnoklassniki for the innocent pursuit of their first loves and subsequent home wreckers? |
February 4, 8:00 AM Where Did I Put That Evidence? Politkovskaya Trial On Hold |
We’re going to put aside sarcasm for a minute and try feigned disbelief. Earlier today, February 4, Moscow’s Military Tribunal was scheduled to proceed with hearings in the murder trail of Anna Politkovskaya, the muckraking journalist, author, human rights activist and Kremlin critic shot dead on October 7, 2006. But a key piece of evidence — nay, the key piece of evidence — is missing. The prosecution has lost (lost!) a video presentation containing footage from the security camera above Politkovskaya’s apartment building. Footage which, apparently, contains a shot of the assassin. |
February 2, 4:00 PM Russia’s Adorable New Unmanned Spy Thing |
Russia’s military has a new unmanned drone — The Pchela-1, or if translated, “The Bee” — and it looks kind of a like a Nintendo Wii-inspired take on a military apparatus. With its charming, family-friendly vibe and sharp design, this critter puts the “cute” back in “surveillance aircraft.” We feel pretty good about something so adorable potentially hunting us down like wild, helpless prey with nowhere to hide. |
February 2, 4:00 PM Deirdre Dare “Sexpat” Saga Not Getting the Attention It Deserves |
With all their focus on domestic issues, the U.S. media have been utterly negligent in reporting American job loss abroad. I’m talking, of course, about the recent firing of “sexpat” and Internet personality Deirdre Dare from her job at a Moscow law firm. For those readers who haven’t been keeping up with the London Daily Telegraph’s excellent coverage, we are here to brief you. |
February 1, 9:00 AM Russia's Riotous Weekend |
Thousands across Russia braved sub-zero temperatures and took to the streets this weekend. Many did so to protest the government’s irresponsible spending policies in light of the global economic crisis. But most came out to protest the protesters for being, like, so negative and critical. What's with that? As usual, the degree to which the protesters were disorderly and the extent to which police reacted with fists and blunt objects have been exaggerated and diminished with aplomb. RUSSIA! now finds itself in the cozy position of judging whose coverage was best. |
February 2, 6:00 AM Russia Orders Arctic Circle, Hold The Ice |
Wouldn’t it be just like Russia to benefit from global warming? The Arctic Circle is melting, polar bears are dying, and Russia’s busy calling dibs on energy-rich territories made available by melting ice caps. Arctic waters could be ice-free as soon as summer of 2013, to which we say: “Cat fight!” Norway, Canada, Britain, China, the U.S. and others are already declaring “shotgun” privileges over the potential gas and oil digs which could soon be unlocked by defrosted waters. |
January 30, 10:00 AM Russo-Georgian Information War Hits East Village |
The notion of an “information war” in the wake of the actual Russian-Georgian hostilities has gotten a lot of attention in its time. One would be forgiven for thinking that some amazingly complicated PR strategies are being deployed on both sides. In actuality, the “war” mostly consists of both Russia and Georgia trying to impress a who-hit-whom-first narrative on a completely indifferent American public, and doing it in the clumsiest manner possible. |
January 29, 4:00 PM 1/30/09: Animal Cruelty And Unhappy Childhoods |
The Russian blogosphere conveniently, if bafflingly, revolves around LJ. Each week, Russia! scans the chatter and brings you the top five topics. |
January 29, 4:00 PM Russian Defector’s Happiest Meal For A While To Come |
The PR guys over at McDonald’s must be thrilled about this one. Their Golden Arches are the backdrop for the most recent chapter in the messy Russia-Georgia conflict. This chapter is entitled, "Russian soldier goes AWOL, enjoys Big Mac." After abandoning his post in South Ossetia on January 26, Junior Sergeant Alexander Glukhov resurfaced on Georgian television with a plea to President Mikheil Saakashvili for asylum, citing poor living conditions and a verbally abusive commander as his major grievances. Then came a photo op of Glukhov stuffing his face with Big Macs and chocolate sundaes at a Tbilisi McDonald's. Seems like a tough story for Russia to spin. But then, they've been in the game a long time. |
January 28, 4:00 PM Russian Financier Spared Unlivable Plaza Penthouse |
We can all heave a sigh of relief. Russian financier Andrei Vavilov has reached a settlement with the developer of the Plaza Hotel! We were worried the Vavilovs might not receive adequate compensation after they were duped into buying two Plaza penthouses (sight unseen) with lower-than-acceptable ceilings. But justice has been served, according to Vavilov's lawyer, who was "very pleased" with the outcome. |
January 28, 4:00 PM The System's Operating System |
So, about that thing at the Davos conference... You know, when Vladimir Putin verbally bit off the hand of Dell CEO Michael Dell for asking if Russia could use a little tech support? Well, call us crazy, but the wording of his response, "We don't need any help. We are not invalids," seems to hint that the Russians have a secret plan for I.T. independence. And guess what? They do! At this very moment, President Medvedev is expecting a letter from the Duma's leading nerds requesting his support in the creation of a national operating system for Russia (suck it, Windows!). |
January 27, 4:00 PM Dostoevsky Goes Metro |
No, that’s not the sound of Fyodor Dostoevsky rolling in his grave; they’re just drilling tunnels 200 feet below the 19th-century writer’s historical childhood street. By 2010, Moscow will have a new author-themed metro station—Dostoevskaya—whose interior design might very well send depressives scouring their pockets for extra Zoloft. |
January 26, 4:00 PM Moskva-City Clock Tower Foretells Our Digital Future |
Don't look now, Stalin's skyscrapers, but there's a new, equally unsettling panorama in town: Moskva-Siti (literally Moscow-City) is a cluster of angular skyscrapers that, when completed, will be the Putin generation's futuristic monument to papa ruble. In the thin fog of a mild January, it looks positively dystopian. But there's one lingering question: Why on earth does it have a blue, digital clock tower? |
