When a greedy capitalist slips a few coins into a vending machine, he arrogantly expects his own individually prepackaged soda. But the citizens of the U.S.S.R were prepared to share—everything from public housing to sidewalk soda pop. Behold, the sacramental chalice of Soviet carbonated beverages.

Last month, we celebrated the news that Russia is the world’s leading producer of spam e-mail. This week, The Onion riffs on that same idea with a video report about the fictional spam-producing nation of Koy4goff, capital Affordable Paradise.