The Russian blogosphere conveniently, if bafflingly, revolves around LJ. Each week, RUSSIA! scans the chatter and brings you the top five topics.

• Bet you forgot, but Russian oligarchs are the bling-bling-iest. Seriously. Former governor of Chukotka Roman Abromovich has just visited his new private yacht, now the most expensive in the world, bumping Russian businessman Andrei Melnichenko's to number two. Price tag? $472 million. Response splits into supporters of basking in the awesome perks of lucrative capitalism and mild critics of thus and said boat - "Sell Chukotka - buy a fleet" and "Meh. Kind of homely. Flat in the end, all sharp angles, the profile's less than elite..." Oh wait, that's about Abromivich's lady-friend. Burn. [«А»] [Яхта "Eclipse"]

• At some point, someone declared "Mayonnaise is evil! Do not eat!" in a Russian food Lj-group, this being a controversial act against culture, as Russian home cooking is 30% mayo. Mmmmmayo. And so begins the Great Mayo Civil War of 2009 - "Dear comrades! How can you live without mayonnaise? What about herring-in-beet-coat, salad oliviye, eggs with mayo (a classic!) How can you get rid of this wonderful sauce!" Commenters offer up some healthy alternative recipes: "Boiled beef, horseradish sauce and vodka." [Что, никогда-никогда??? (провокация)]

• For a hilarious display of jerk-tastic time-wasting, check out Lj group ru_auto, where they're still keeping up the women-can't-drive discussion to the theme of "If you want the same driving rights, drive like a man and stop [insert copious list of auto-social-offenses here]!" A long and detailed entry documenting one unfortunate female's dopey dealings with an accident comes complete with 15 chronological photos taken all sneaky-like from his window. Commenters gently prod at the poster's logic, creep-factor. [думаю боян, но псто полон ненависти]

• Now a common delectable treat, sushi wasn't always accessible in Russia. In an entry titled "Union of Soviet Socialist Rolls" blogger _che conducts a socioeconomic study by asking users from Western USSR if they've ever had sushi before 1988. Responses range from bitter - "Ooh, no, why was I deprived of raw fish slopped on top of half-raw rice!" - to bitter - "I rather live in USSR than eat this."[суши в СССР]

• Blogger tsarev-alex sees a sad prophecy of infinite inflation while visiting a portable bathroom. The festively carved and painted hut is for sale at $700 per square-toilet-meter. Hardly worth it, commenters agree - "In the village, you can get a much nicer one made for $30." You heard it here first. Stay tuned for all your Russian, English-language, portable-bathroom real estate news.