The Russian blogosphere conveniently, if bafflingly, revolves around LJ. Each week, RUSSIA! scans the chatter and brings you the top five topics.

• In St Petersburg, to celebrate the anniversary of magazine "Russian Pioneer," oligarchs and statesmen threw themselves a drunken brew-haw-haw feast aboard the liner "Avrora." Rock band Shnur even played a set on a tiny, fireworks-equiped vessel near by. Several guests dove overboard into River Neva, with all the merriment and all. Locals found it a bit uncouth... seeing how the ship is actually a museum dedicated to the memory of veteran sailors of the Russian-Japanese war. Angry commenters rant, recall a Russian musical with the song "It's Good to be The King." Bonus: user submitted videos of the bourgeoisie douchebaggery that would make Fellini cry. [Свинскую пьянку устроили олигархи и чиновники]

• Photographer Igor Generalov posted some glossy photos of the Russian Mus-TV Awards with an LJ entry that's been user-dubbed "Who the Hell Are These People?" On the red carpet, a medley of familiar/weary and strange/gaudy pop stars strangled and macked on each other for the paparazzi whilst donning formal white lace, aquamarine sequins, bejeweled sea-captain uniforms, snakeskin jackets and sweaty, shirtless guys. Also: a five-some of blonde nurses and Katy Perry. Responses are to the trend of "photos yey, subjects nay" and "No, really, who the hell are these people?" [Премия Муз-ТВ 2009 | ковровая дорожка]

• While waiting for his wife outside of a supermarket, blogger fima-psuchopadt got handed a magazine by a "non-ugly" girl. Grazing the thonged cougar on the cover were the four headlines - "Necessities," "Bathhouses," "Personals," and "Soccer." Like any socially responsible citizen, Fima took to Lj to post and analyze the copious amount of call girl adds. Response: "Ey, why'd you fuzz out the numbers?" [Исчадие платной любви]

• Blogger mi3ch proposes to compile a master list titled "Why Do They Hate Us" listing each country's specific abhorrence towards Russia. It starts methodically enough - "Czeck Republic for 1968, Afghanistan for 1979-1989, Georgia for Abkhazia and Ossetia, ...." - but, with the help of commenters, eventually devolves into "Everybody for the tourists," "Penguins for Antarctica," and "France for the [flaky, creamy] cake Napoleon." [пост не для патриотов]

• Blogger ammosov announces that director Bondarchuk is going to turn Pushkin's "Onegin" into a movie and plans on recycling a pretty-boy lead from his last sci-fi feature and his very cute, very talentless actress favorite. General response is aghast, with some phonetically expressed barfing noises. Let's see them CGI their ass out of this one. [Сиськи Татьяны Лариной]