Hey America, seems you’re riding a wave of patriotic bliss this week.Well, Russia sees your patriotism and raises you the most patriotic movie trailer ever. Vladimir Bortko’s adaptation of Nikolai Gogol’s Taras Bulba actually looks decent, but the voiceover on this TV spot could keep any sane person away. There’s so much Russian pride here, you almost forget that Taras Bulba takes place in Ukraine! Watch the trailer here, but be warned: this thing was intended for Russian eyes only. The last line is “Coming April 22 to all the theaters of our undefeatable country.” Yeah. Full translation below.

Rossiya [TV network] and Central Partnership present... Taras Bulba.
Our beautiful, rich, beloved land.
Here lives freedom. Here lives brotherhood. Here lives true love.
(laughter)
Very quickly, enemies are coming to our land.
Blood. Grief. Enslavement.
But there are still great warriors.
Valiant. Undefeatable.
Bogdan Stupka… ready to die for honor.
Look here. This is your mother!
Igor Petrenko… ready to die for love.
You're mine, truly.
Vladimir Vdovichenkov… ready to die for glory.
Follow me! Follow me!
Mikhail Boyarsky… ready to die for faith.
They are Cossacks.
They fight till the last drop of blood!
For our honor! For our glory!
For our love.
Taras Bulba.
For the motherland. For love.
Coming April 22 to all the theaters of our undefeatable country.

You can also see the less international theatrical trailer, which is far less nauseating, here. PS. Don’t tell YouTube, but there are boobies in it.