Every year, millions of girls are forced to make the awful choice between being a physicist or being a beauty queen. Thankfully, in Russia, where nuclear energy sector employees can compete in their own web-based beauty pageant, it’s possible to be both. Each year since 2004, industry women of the former Soviet Union ages 18 to 35 are urged to submit their photos and fill out a questionnaire describing their interests (i.e. “fitness, neutron monitors and teasing my bangs”) in hopes of becoming the next Miss Atom. An IQ test isn’t necessary to enter as, according to official contest guidelines, “It’s quite obvious what [kind of] IQ a nuclear-employed person must have.” Yes, but who are the brains behind this operation?

Mustachioed darling of the Moscow fashion world Denis Simachev is famous for juxtaposing Russian folklore with couture flippancy. Hence his trademark “Putin’s face framed by a stitched garland” t-shirt. But for his Spring/Summer ’09 fashion line, Simachev is laying off the khohloma floral prints he's relied on for years, and tapping into another Russian tradition — substance abuse.

It's no secret that Svetlana Medvedeva enjoys the finer things. A regular fixture at benefits and fashion shows, the Russian first lady is partial to couture gowns, and she counts several of Russia's hottest fashion designers among her friends. So why are we hearing rumors that the editor of Russia's major business newspaper got fired over a photo of her wearing a $30,000 watch?

Officers in Russia's Far East played fashion critics to a haute-couture designer this week when their unit tested out his new military uniforms. The Defense Ministry scored some much-needed cool points by commissioning Moscow's premier fashion designer, Valentin Yudashkin, to update their look. The theme of the new collection is "comfort," which we assume won out just narrowly to "Hollywood glamour of the '30s and '40s."

Just before the New Year, when her compatriots were busy mixing up the olivye, 16-year-old fashion designer Kira Plastinina was filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in the U.S. Plastinina, whose fashion empire was financed entirely by her dairy-magnate father, Sergei, has spent the last two years setting the world aflame with magenta tutus, nylon jumpsuits, and frilly lingerie—that you wear on top of your clothes—to the accolades of… uh, we'll get back to you on that one. Today, we salute the fallen princess, now prudently shifting her focus from L.A. to Kazakhstan, with a retrospective of her short time on U.S. soil.

Long before pretty, anemic girls and Leonardo DiCaprio stuck their fashion-forward feet into Uggs, Russian peasants, soldiers, and pioneers were sporting unbecoming felt boots of their own. They're called valenki: woolen, seamless emblems of the nation's cold history. But Russia's current bazaar offers Italian leathers and designer footwear, with no shortage of cheaper alternatives. Why, then, are these homely things flying off the shelves at $70 per pair? Nationalism? Hipster irony? Nostalgia?