Hermitage Capital Management, one of the major Russian investment banks, was forced to shut down and relocate to London, with several employees accused of fraud and put in prison. The bank alleged that it became victim of corrupt government officials and competitors with links to the Russian secret service, who helped to fake evidence and steal $230 million in taxes, paid by Hermitage.

Just as we suspected, this blog is being read by an amazing, cultured, affluent, well-traveled audience. They buy cars, paintings, airline tickers, televisions, soccer teams, personal jets and books, among other things. Now you can advertise your products and services for free on this blog. The only condition is that your products and services must be interesting and relevant for those who are interested in Russia.

We have to interrupt your blog briefly to keep you up to date with Russia's richest man Mikhail Prokhorov's news. This week he is planning to kick some yet to be identified ass. Since Prokhorov is not only the richest Russian ($19.5 billion), but also one of the tallest (6.75'), we have to take his words seriously.

MICEX or RTS? That's the question you are probably asking yourself every day. Well, some people do. MICEX and RTS are the competing Moscow-based stock exchanges, where most Russian companies float their shares. Both exchanges have stock market indexes, which aim to be the Russian DJIA -- the official indicator of the market. There is only one problem -- the market is so small, so when you divide it into two, it becomes tiny. So tiny that the readers of this blog could easily affect the stock prices if they wanted to.

More than a decade ago, Igor Panarin, current Dean of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs at Moscow’s Diplomatic Academy, launched what would become a series of increasingly entertaining predictions about the imminent dissolution of the United States. It wasn’t until the current financial crisis, however, that Panarin’s conjectures gained a touch more relevance and, therefore, more airtime. Unsurprisingly, Russian state media are all over the guy, but Panarin’s name has also garnered celebrity in the West thanks to the likes of Fox News and The Wall Street Journal, who apparently get a kick out of fueling those cold, cold flames. And who can blame them? So this Tuesday, apparently operating on the no-publicity-is-bad-publicity principle, the Russians invited the Associated Press and other foreign media outlets to feast on Panarin’s latest thoughts.

Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov secured the purchase of the world’s most expensive house last summer — a $600 million villa in the south of France. Now, he wants to give it back. If this sounds like another oligarch unable to pay his bills, it isn’t; apparently flush with cash, Prokhorov was planning to buy the villa as a present for Russia’s current leader. He only hesitated because he’s no longer sure who that is.

Who said all empires in Russia are built on blood, lies, and connections? Some are built on homemade potato recipes — hold the vodka jokes. A new video from state press agency RIA Novosti follows Andrei Kononchuk and Vitaly Naumenko, co-owners of the baked-potato chain Kroshka Kartoshka [Крошка Картошка]. Now moneybags, the two tell of their humble but honest beginnings in the baked-potato biz, which they began in 1998, when the Russian economy was in the proverbial crapper. At first, all their revenue was eaten up by hyperinflation and their only other employees were their wives. But within a year their fortunes turned, and now Kroshka is an iconic and delicious symbol of post-default Russia, often imitated but never replicated by copycat brands. Wait, this video is just a carb-veiled parable intended to inspire more Russian entrepreneurship! Is nothing sacred?

Have Russians learned nothing from Grigory Rasputin? Psychic friends are not real friends! But with financial ruin looming for many, fortune-telling has become a respectable profession again, with clients shelling out as much as $137 per reading in hopes of a heads up on exchange rates or catastrophic blunders to come. Any tent in a storm, we guess.

Let's face it: Russians are hardwired to endure the economic crisis better than Westerners. In fact, if you survived the Soviet Union and the turbulent years following its collapse, you are so used to a dysfunctional economy that the prosperous '00s were what felt jarring. So this weekend, when The New York Times reported that “barter is back,” we can’t say we were surprised. But we were certainly intrigued by some of the new ways in which Russians are going about their daily swapping.

Wouldn’t it be just like Russia to benefit from global warming? The Arctic Circle is melting, polar bears are dying, and Russia’s busy calling dibs on energy-rich territories made available by melting ice caps. Arctic waters could be ice-free as soon as summer of 2013, to which we say: “Cat fight!” Norway, Canada, Britain, China, the U.S. and others are already declaring “shotgun” privileges over the potential gas and oil digs which could soon be unlocked by defrosted waters.

We can all heave a sigh of relief. Russian financier Andrei Vavilov has reached a settlement with the developer of the Plaza Hotel! We were worried the Vavilovs might not receive adequate compensation after they were duped into buying two Plaza penthouses (sight unseen) with lower-than-acceptable ceilings. But justice has been served, according to Vavilov's lawyer, who was "very pleased" with the outcome.

Don’t ever try to deduce what a Russian billionaire is thinking. You will get sued for defamation. Just ask the Times of London. They ran a story on Sunday alleging that Roman Abramovich was considering selling his football club, Chelsea; now it’s Wednesday and the judge is already hearing the case. Abramovich and the team are suing the paper’s parent company, Times Newspapers Limited, for an unspecified amount.

The economy's done no favors for Russia's retail sector, which is where Wal-Mart sees an opportunity. Swooping into metaphorical "rebound boyfriend" position while Russia's in a vulnerable state, Wal-Mart just registered a legal entity and joined an organization of local retailers in Russia.

It's official, there's now a KGB—dot-com. Commercial intent. That's right. But it's not what you think. A privately held directory assistance provider from New York christened itself the Knowledge Generation Bureau, or "kgb" for short, and launched its "enhanced information" services last week. So, in addition to getting an address or phone number from the Bureau, which feels dirty enough as is, you can also text, phone, or e-mail this kgb with your most pressing unclassifiable questions (i.e. "Is Solzhenitsyn rolling in his grave right now?")

Russia Today reports that with the stocks plunging, the number of gigolos in Moscow is bulging.This, according to Moscow police. The story comes in the wake of last month’s Russian Newsweek feature about the country’s economically challenged men seeking material sponsorship from wealthy single women in exchange for, well, being men.