Pronouncing Russian Names Correctly Is Too Much For American Television
Today, Good Morning America aired a segment where three Russia's most powerful women (?) talked about their country.
Good job, Good Morning America! You managed to mispronounce the names of the three most powerful Russian women. Good thing, they are not that powerful. We have heard of one, Aliona Doletskaya, the editor of Russian Vogue and heir apparent to Anna Wintour. We are sorry to inform you, however, that the remaining two women are not very powerful. Neither well-known. Or known.
Katya Grachova, the host of Russia Today television, is not powerful because Russia Today is an English-language channel and is watched mainly in the US. People who have heard of Katya are mainly American television producers who came to Russia to film a segment for Good Morning America.
The third most powerful woman, Elena Kolchina, the director of Renaissance Investment Management Bank, we haven't heard of before we saw your show. We have heard of the bank thought: it nearly went bust during the financial crisis and was bought by Mikhail Prokhorov around the same time the said Prokhorov has bought the NJ Nets.
We liked the segment after all. But we'd like to make two points: Firstly, the most powerful women in Russia are usually the wives of the most powerful men there. And secondly, we are really concerned about Aliona Doletskaya's prospects for becoming the editor of the American Vogue. How can she, if America cannot learn to say her name korraktly. Da?
Patriotic Baby Names On Rise; Playground Beatings Likely To See Increase
by Katya Tylevich
Aw. If it isn’t little Privatizatsia ("Privatization") and darling Viagra, two Russian newborns who stand almost no chance of leading happy childhoods thanks to the names bestowed upon them by their loving parents. In Soviet times, it was not unusual to have a friend named Stalina or an enemy named Ninel (read it backwards for a “come on” moment). In fact, early Bolsheviks were suckers for “Red Baptisms” which branded miserable young souls with names like Melor (acronym for “Marx Engels Lenin October Revolution”). Today, the Moscow registry office notes an increase in modern equivalents of politicized or otherwise attention-getting monikers. Patriotism is stimulus for a name like Kosmos ("Space"), of course, but there’s also the idea that a child named for a prescription boner drug will stand out next to a ho-hum Volodya or Katya, and profit for it. Might as well just name the kid “Opportunist” and be done with it.
Guinea Pig Saga Highlights Flaws In Bureaucracy, Everything
by Katya Tylevich
This shouldn’t even be news, but, lo, it’s a Russian media spectacle. Naturally, we have to feed the shit-storm, too. Right around the holiday season, small-town girl and Internet aficionado Nastya Ivliyeva, 13, felt a case of the wants coming on. Specifically, Nastya wanted a new guinea pig to serve as companion to her existing rodent. With gift-giving season just around the corner, the girl could think of no person more able to make her wishes come true than Russia’s president. So little Nastya shot Uncle Dmitry an e-mail via his interactive website asking for a new pet. Really, you’d think the Kremlin would have a spam filter by now, considering. Instead, a series of downright Chekhovian developments followed.
Meet Mr and Ms Normal, Russia's Most Typical Mugs
by Marina Galperina
Here they are, for the first time ever—the most typical Russian faces, a real pair of average physiognomy, courtesy of a racially-nervous little study we dug up for your amusement. Bonus: 250 most Russian last names.